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UngaKhan

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Year of changes

4 min read
I'm just getting ready to add my newly finished oil pastel drawing to the gallery here, I'm very happy to say.  I began this one, which I named Spillage for lack of another, right around the turn of the year.  I had not expected to become so involved in this one, but it continued to grow on me; perhaps because it has absorbed a lot of the thoughts and feelings I've been trying to come to grips with.  Half the time I love it, the other time I'm weary of it and can't stand to look at it... perhaps you know what I'm going through.  At any rate I am honored to share this with everyone I've had the pleasure of getting to know a little, and of seeing all the amazing works of art!
   Couldn't find any place drivable with a big enough flatbed scanner, so started reading about photographing artworks.  I used a pretty crude setup, but got nice results.  building a proper space for taking pictures of my drawings is next on my list now, after I get some work done figuring out what path to take for studying animation, a long term goal that I have always been afraid to pursue..  it will be interesting, and as I've said before, dA has been a catalyst for my renewed interest in my dreams.
   I needed some other pictures to practice taking photos with, and ended up finding three more pastel drawings from 1997 in a cardboard portfolio.  It was sort of shocking to see how little my style has changed since then.  Not sure yet if that is good or bad, but most likely it is neither.  I have a bad habit of trying to judge things that way.  Those pictures turned out ok, so I added those to the gallery too, just for kicks. :)
   Wishing all of you well, and I look forward to seeing your lovely works!
Carla

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I don't have any interesting news for you; I just wanted to thank the person or persons who suggested
some of my art for a couple of galleries.  I really appreciate the invitations, and it really made my day,
too!  I've been away on holiday, and am now in the process of getting to the bottom of my mailbox
(4,000 watch messages).  I could clear it and start fresh, but I don't want to miss anything...
I'm ready for the New Year with some new pastels and inks, and hope to have something new to show very soon.


:icontiphankeplz: :iconcip5: I wish all of you a healthy and peaceful New Year!  :iconcip5: :icontiphankeplz:

                                                             :iconmucai:


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THANKS FOR DROPPING IN

   I THINK MY LAST ENTRY SOUNDED A LITTLE CRABBY, THOUGH IT MUST HAVE BEEN SUBCONSCIOUS.    I'M GETTING BETTER AND BETTER AT NOT GETTING OVERWHELMED BY HOW MUCH ART IS AT MY FINGERTIPS HERE.    I'VE STOPPED WATCHING SOME GROUPS, AND HAVE ADDED MORE.    I FEEL A GREAT DESIRE TO LOOK AT EVERYTHING, AND COMMENT ON EVERY WORK THAT CATCHES MY EYE, BUT ALAS IT IS NOT POSSIBLE.    I STILL CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL BAD WHEN I'M JUST BREEZING PAST SO MUCH AMAZING STUFF AND I DON'T LEAVE A COMMENT.    A LOT OF THE TIME I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING MEANINGFUL ASIDE FROM "LOVE IT!" AND NOTHING COMES TO MIND...  OH WELL.   I THINK I GIVE MYSELF TOO MUCH CREDIT IN THAT REGARD.  

   I CAN SAY IT RIGHT HERE:    LOVE IT!  COOL!  THIS IS AWESOME!  YOU'RE AN INSPIRATION!
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   HERE'S A NEW DRAWING, I CAN FINALLY SAY THAT!  DA CERTAINLY HAS HAD IT'S EFFECT ON MY DAY AND NIGHT DREAMING.    PERHAPS THAT'S WHY THE NEW DRAWING IS OF A DREAM.    IT'S NOT ABOUT A SPECIFIC DREAM OF MINE, BUT DEFINITELY A RECURRING THEME.  
   I OFTEN DREAM OF CLIMBING INTO ATTICS OR TOWERS WHERE THERE'S A SECRET ROOM.    I FIND LOTS OF ITEMS THERE THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BELONG TO GRANDPARENTS OR OTHER ANCESTORS, THEN I FIND THAT THE STRUCTURE IS NOT HOLDING UP, AND I FEEL THE FLOOR CAVING IN OR THE WHOLE BUILDING BEGIN TO SHIFT.    SOMETIMES I JUMP OUT THE WINDOW AND GENTLY FLOAT DOWNWARDS, SOMETIMES HOVERING ALONG THE GROUND IN A VERY PLEASANT WAY....
   TO THOSE I'VE MET SO FAR, IT REALLY FEELS GOOD TO HAVE SOME CONNECTION TO OTHER ARTISTS, THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS WITH ME!

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Well, I'm feeling more settled in here after my first month.


I'm having trouble though, finding the right amount of time to spend here in a day.

   I'm watching too many groups maybe, because if I don't go through them every day, I get buried under the sheer number of images.

   So many choices!  How does one deal with the seemingly never-ending stream of art, and decide which ones to comment on?  My poor heart is being  tugged in so many directions.  So many souls crying for recognition and praise.  And apparently I'm one of them!

   Time just seems to spiral out of control when I get online, how do all of you handle this??

   

   I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining, I'm so glad to finally have the ability to participate here.  I just don't have the skills yet to reach a healthy balance between viewing and creating.

   And my house is suffering too.  I have one more reason why doing the dishes can wait a little longer.



   I am working on a NEW drawing now since I've joined.... and I feel very good about that.  

   It's been a great pleasure to meet other artists here and I look forward to making some friends here as well.


   Deviantart has affected my dreams for sure, and I feel like there are some great ideas coming out of it.  I'll have to put that in another entry when I get a clearer idea of what those are.  

   ***We indeed live in some very interesting times.  Something monumental must come out of all of this creativity brewing in the same pot and creating new flavors!***

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GETTING CAUGHT UP

   This has really been a whirlwind of discovery, emotions and ideas.  This is the third week of my family's "high-speed" awakening, after being stuck in the internet stone age.  It's a long boring story, so I'll tell it.  No, I won't.  
    I'll start by filling in some background. As a child and a teenager, I always drew things, and I longed to be a famous artist.  Aside from visions of grandeur, I truly felt in my element when lost in the act of drawing, or painting.   Fantasy landscapes, unicorns and abstractions were my main interest at that time.
    At age 20 I got married, (12 years and going strong) and a few years later had a son (8 years old now).  Through all of that, I found many many other ways to stay busy.  I discovered cooking, gardening, reading about ancient cultures and native plants, helping my husband with his endeavors as a vaudeville performer (I do not perform myself), etc.  Drawing and producing art took a backseat to all of these other activities.  
    Looking back, I can see how drawing filled natural spaces in my daily life when I was younger.  There were evenings at home when I was in school, and extra time in class.  When I moved in with husband-to-be, there were no natural "spaces" in time, mostly because we loved to spend all our time together, and of course there was work.  We really hit the skids financially after 2001, and then I got pregnant a couple years later.
    I do still draw now and then.  I'll work on a picture in fits and starts, sometimes taking six months to complete something that I spent ten hours on overall.  Most of those pictures have been given as gifts to friends and family.  My husband has encouraged me to get more serious as an artist since we were first together, and I've always found reasons not to.  
    Struggling to pay the bills can be a damper on one's creative spirit if you let it, and I think I did.  To be honest, it's been such a long time now since I was drawing every day, that I'm pretty frightened of launching into it again.  I'm afraid my artistic vision has diluted.  I'm afraid my skills are gone, or will never improve.  I'm afraid I'll be indulging in a time consuming hobby that will cost my family more than it can benefit at this time.....I could go on.
    It's good to type these things out, because my fears sound silly now that I'm reading them.  They don't entirely disappear, though.
  
    And now, with the miracle of high-speed cable, here I am!  It's not that I was ignorant of the internet, or Deviantart, but having access to it at home instead of driving 17 miles to the public library has made a world of difference when it comes to how I spend my time online.  I still haven't gone over to Facebook, though I have looked up some people there.  
    Joining this community has been a revelation to me.  I just had, no idea, it was...... so vast!  My first week here, I was taking in all the art my eyes could take.  My mind was reeling with the reality of it and with the possibilities it presented me.  Then for a couple of days I sort of crashed, and felt like everyone here had thought, imagined, created and experienced more than I had.  
    I actually felt depressed about it for a day or so, until I realized I was getting really strung out on being on the site.  I was barely even getting outside, which is very unusual for me.  When I backed of a bit and could think my own thoughts again, I felt better.  I resolved to start at the beginning.  And just to get something out there for starters, I started learning how to scan and prepare some of my old art for uploading.  I have a pretty new but small scanner, so had to get the hang of stitching scans together.  
    I still have some more old drawings to add to my gallery, larger ones, and then..... perhaps I'll be ready to create something new.  We shall see.

    If you've read this and would like to say something, or correspond a little, I'm open to it.  In fact I'd enjoy it!  One of the neatest experiences I've had here so far is all the international sharing.  I'm so blown away by being able to compliment someone from Iran and Sweden and Korea, and get a quick response.  Forgive me folks, I'm just a noob to something that this generation takes as a given.  I'm enjoying it all immensely.

    I've just begun looking for groups to submit to, any suggestions?
Thanks for reading,
Carla

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